How do I wash coal out of a cat's fur?

So Halloween got a bit wild, and you woke up this morning with a massive hangover and a black cat (even though Mr. Wibbles is usually an off-white Birman).

Anyway, the steps to washing your cat are pretty simple, they're just not that easy.

1. Catch the cat

2. Place cat in the tub

3. Apply shampoo

4. Rinse gently

5. And then blow dry

All I'm going to say is good luck. You'll need it.